The Times They Are a-Changin': January 2015

I don't usually play sports or anything that is socially regarded as a hobby (other than browsing the web but we all know that it's a lot of horseshit to call that a hobby). Most of my free time from the class is filled with sitting down & staring at the computer screen for hours before going to bed. A friend offered me a chance to join the others on a trip to Mangalore, a city located on the south-west of India. I hesitated at first because holidays cost a lot of time & money, & our final semester exam is in less than one month. Then this quote popped in me head,

That's a bold statement coming from a kid who's willing to f*** his future just to skip school for a day.

So, I relented & joined the trip (I was suppose to go backpacking after my final semester exam but our trip had to be cancelled when the board of administration reshuffled our holidays due the great flood in Kelantan late last year). There were 10 of us from my batch; 7 were going for a futsal tournament & the other 3, including myself, were planning to "tour" Mangalore.

From Belgaum

Saturday, 24th January 2015 - We arrived at the bust station at 8:15 p.m. & our bus (VLS company) was supposed to depart at 8:30-ish p.m. At 9 o'clock and the bus still hadn't arrived yet (check out below on how f-ed up this company reacted when WE'RE late). The bus eventually arrived at 9:15 p.m. & we departed from Belgaum at 9:30 p.m.. We boarded a semi-sleeper bus, a fancy name for a bus with normal seats.

My ass wept at the distance we had to endure

Since this is my FIRST trip ever since I arrived in India - the other bastards had theirs months ago - I was kind of impressed. There were 2 bus drivers & both wore an outfit akin to that of a commercial airline pilots, with cheap sandals instead of leather shoes. The bus made multiple stops for the drivers to exchange their shifts & for us passengers to "relieve" ourselves. Before the trip, I went to the toilet multiple times just in case my bladder decided to be a douchebag, but it didn't - my stomach took the role instead.

But all that didn't stop this idea-proof bastard.

The road to Mangalore was full of turns, hills, & slopes & I was a fool not to bring my anti-motion sickness drug (fancy name isn't it? like kortex) with me. And adding insult to injury, I had quite a huge dinner at the hostel before travelling. My qualms at that time was more on "What if I get hungry on the trip?" & "What if I have to take a big pile of shit on the bus?" than "What if I vomited on the passenger next to me?" A colleague who was sitting behind me barfed about 90 minutes after the journey started. My stomach was rumbling & I tried to hold its contents for as long as I could Even when the bus stopped at a resting area (about 12:30 a.m.), I refused to go to the toilet (I soon regretted this decision). I took multiple deep breaths as I semi-consciously sleep & I even tried breathing into a plastic bag. At about 2 a.m., I let relented to mother nature.

If I put it in a plastic bag, maybe, just maybe, I can eat it back later.

Some of you may be asking: What's the big deal? Who the hell wants to read about my vomitus escapades anyway, right? Well, I'm sorry that I don't have my annual barf just like you lots. The last time I barfed was about 8 years ago & I had forgotten what the taste & smell of it is like, until recently that is.

Equal amount of pain but less cooler.

Destination: Mangalore

Sunday, 25th of January 2015 - We arrived at a bus station in Mangalore about 6:15 a.m. & the 3 of us spent our time at a hostel stayed by a mutual friend of ours (the other 7 crashed at a hotel). I can't actually describe the lives & the environment of how our fellow Malaysians are living as we had only a day to spend there - "the hell kind of holiday is that?" - but I must say, other than the hot weather, Mangalore is a better place to stay in compared to Belgaum.

That doesn't mean I'm ungrateful on not becoming a vagabond

We stayed at Vishwas Royal from dawn till 8:30 a.m. & our hosts warmly welcomed us by serving us breakfast & drinks. It turns out, these Manipal Medical College students are renting their own flat & it's a pretty luxurious place for a student to stay. In USM-KLE hostel, a room can accommodate 2 people complete with one bathroom & a pantry (if you're lucky) whereas at Vishwas Royal, there are 3 rooms (each room can host 2 people), a kitchen, 3 bathrooms & a freaking living room! Even in Georgetown, Penang, you can only find these sort of accommodations in a penthouse or a condominium & these would cost about RM800,000 & above to buy.

My tongue made sex with itself each time I pronounced that name

Without wasting any time, we left the flat at 8:30 & make our way to the first destination: Sultan Battery. Our main intention of visiting Mangalore was to visit the beach - us Penangites have a certain attraction for beaches *pun intended* - & one of our host suggested this place to us. I didn't know what to expect because it wasn't exactly a beach but more of a pier for fishermen's boats. There's not even a grain of sand & its main attraction is the Sultan Bateri, a tower that's -

I'm putting a lot of faith believing you guys can read; so don't disappoint me.

Nope, no baby Moses in a basket.

Hey Arthur, are ye hometh?

Honestly speaking, the tower would've looked nice had the locals taken better care of it. It's like there's always this universal law allowing at least one c*** to make a mockery out of his/her own country. God damn it, it had the potential to become a great tourist attraction! You could see some holes - I couldn't find the right word, sorry - for a few cannons & there's even a room at the bottom of the tower (unfortunately it was locked) that could've been either a small prison or a popular site to host small orgies. Since the Indians had a way back history with the Kamasutra, I'm betting it's the latter.

The tower would've looked nice if it hadn't been for some clowns... clowns with a wonderful sense of irony

The tower exploded 10 seconds later

Bless you, auto driver.

At 9:30 we headed to Panambur Beach, a main attraction for locals & foreigners. The beach, which opened out into the Arabian Sea, was vast & surprisingly clean. Other than human beings, we didn't see a single trash. The locals did a good job at maintaining the beauty of their beach (Penangites, please take note). There wasn't much activities we could do, so we headed to the south side of the beach & lie under the shade of a small tower. It was a blissful & relaxing venture before f***ing my mind for the exam.

Hmm, they could use some dragons... beaches love dragons

There were some stalls here selling fast foods & light beverages. Note the presence of dustbins.

At the time of our visitation, there wasn't that much of activity you could do other than picnicking or swimming.

There were some eagles too but who gives a crap.

Those are eyes, mate, not tits.

Nothing felt better than wetting your feet with someone's diluted piss.

Trying to establish contact with the Kraken...

& Aquaman

Absolutely beautiful...

though I have no idea why would people want to spend their time at the centre of the beach where it's blazing hot when they could've sit under the shade of this conveniently placed tower.

In case you're dyslexic, that's my name.

We would love to explore the South side of the beach but I don't think "accidentally fell onto jagged rocks" is covered in our insurance.

No trip is complete without a homoerotic selfie.

Till next time!

Sadly, I didn't try any food at the beach (except for a few scoops of my friend's delicious corn-in-a-cup) due to a sudden toothache during my arrival. There's always something to f*** up my day but to quote Oprah Winfrey, "Be thankful for what you have & you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." By the way, did you know the locals here love to put masala on all their food, even ice-cream?

You get masala! You get masala! Everyone gets masala!!!

We left the beach at about 11:30 a.m. & headed our way to the Marena Complex to watch out batchmates compete for their futsal. But since I don't much care for the game, I'll make a pass on my experience there. Oh, & the driver who drove us there had an uncanny resemblance to our Kannada Language tutor. His name was Abdul Rahim if my memory is still intact.

It's not I've no care for the sport. It's just that I prefer playing than watching the game.

At 1:00 p.m. we returned to Vishwas Royal & rested there for the whole afternoon. At 3.00 p.m., the other boys had finished their tournament & we decided to hang out at the City Centre shopping complex. There are plenty of malls for shopaholics but this was the largest one we could find. We looked around & visited a few stores, ate at Pizza Hut, played some games as the arcade & did whatever broke people do most - glare at rich patrons.

You materialistic witches

There was another reason why came *chuckle* to Mangalore: to eat seafood dishes. See, Belgaum is located somewhere between hills of- God, I don't even know where exactly we are. Nonetheless, seafood don't easily come cheap here. At 6:30 p.m.we had our dinner at Sizzler Ranch, a well-known restaurant among Malaysians for their cheap lobster. In Malaysia, a lobster dish will usually cost more than RM100 & that's not even that huge but here, the price for a large lobster is about RM80 max. Only a few of us had some of those lobsters - we shared we each other - & I ordered a meal of Kentucky sizzling chicken with ice tea, just in case, my stomach decided to make a second coming on my journey back to Belgaum.

Kentucky sizzling chicken

Can't tell whether that's a centaur with a huge boner or a man getting pierced by a horse right in the gut.

Alvida Mangalore

I couldn't finish all my food so I asked my friend to pack it for me while I head back to the hostel because time was running short. Back in Malaysia, I would usually try to finish other people's food if they can't because I hate wasting food, especially one that is as delicious as this. Had we stayed in Mangalore for 2 days, I would've personally ordered a lobster dish as well, but I'm grateful to at least get a bite.

Why Harry, why didn't you finish your food?

I reached Vishwas Royal at about 8:30 p.m. but not before stopping to buy some travelling medicine for motion sickness. Unfortunately, our hosts were not there. Instead, another visitor greeted us. Apparently, this flat is a famous stop for Malaysian students who are visiting Mangalore & I was sad that I didn't get to personally thank them for their generous hospitality. I couldn't think what to give them & given our short of time, I left them a packet of biscuits instead. My friend & I packed our stuff, prayed, & left the hostel at 9:10 p.m..

Hope it hasn't expired yet

On our way to find an auto, a young man on a Royal Enfield bike stopped us & asked us where we're from. With the roads dimly lit, we thought for sure one of us were going to get stabbed. He had this sincere smile that we would usually see in movies - name any that features a woman getting raped. We answered his question & he went on his way. We couldn't tell whether he was coming back, so we quickly searched for an auto. I was afraid that I might have offended him somehow because it was obvious that he could see I was uneasy throughout the whole conversation. I knew I couldn't take any chances given all the terrifying accounts that I've read in newspapers (& I don't read that much anyway). Now I know how it feels like to be a real tourist.

"Trust me. The stab wounds will heal in a week or so."

At 9:15 p.m., we reached the PVS building & our VLS bus was already there waiting. We waiting the others but due to a series of unforeseen f***-ups, they arrived late at 9:35 p.m. My God, you wouldn't believe how the bus drivers reacted while waiting for them - I was severely embarrassed. Had my friend & I followed the others back to their hotel, we would've miss our bus & God knows what would we do next. I don't blame anyone - though I did utter something about how everyone should go f*** themselves - but at least we learned at great moral lesson: always packed your lobsters & eat them on the bus 'cause these bastards are hard to eat.

Hard & rough indeed, mfffph

This time, our bus is a sleeper bus & I shared the top bunk with a mate *that didn't come out wrong*. To avoid another trip to Vomitland, I decided to go to sleep as soon as I possible. Our bus departed at 9:45 p.m. & it was a little warm inside the bus - until at about 4:00 a.m. the next morning that is. At 4, I woke up to make sure I was not in Satan's personal fridge. It was cold as f***ed. The window beside our bed was open & even after closing it, I could still feel the breeze blowing right trough my testicles; some c*** from the back of the bus didn't close the window & whoever that person was, I hope he'll get hypothermia.

Right in the ass please

I woke up at 6:45 a.m. again for my prayer - my first one inside a moving vehicle. We finally arrived in Belgaum at 7:15 a.m. & took an auto back to our hostel. The whole trip including the journey consumed about 45 hours, 3000 rupees (2000 for the bus, the rest for food & auto fee) & my only qualm is that we didn't spend more time exploring the place. It's been years since my last "long" holidays - most were a 1 or 2 days stay - but I guess I can only make do with what's available.

Back to my "normal" holidays

Belgaum vs Mangalore

Though I didn't stay for long, at first glanced, there was a strong contrast between Belgaum & Mangalore. I'm not saying I don't like Belgaum (it has its own perks) but in many ways Mangalore is more developed & triumphed over Belgaum. Such aspects include,

There is a wider variety of food to choose from,
Lots of tall buildings,
The roads here are more developed & less muddy,
There is a higher population of Muslims & Christians, hence an easier access to Mosques & Churches,
The auto drivers here use meters instead of fixing the rate.
More shopping complexes (Except for a few hypermarkets, Belgaum has none)
The people here seem to be more educated, polite & advanced,
Girls here are prettier too *winks* (To all feminists, please understand. I'm a man & I have my own needs)

And for unknown reason, they have a shitload of coconut trees.

The environment here is also very much alike Malaysia. In the centre part of the town, it feels like you're in Kuala Lumpur; the small roads, nooks, & crannies reminiscent scenes in films that are set in Sicily & Egypt; & area around Sizzler Ranch reminds me of Penang. In short, if you want to study in India but don't want to be homesick, you can give Mangalore a try.