Saturday, 7 March 2015

India: Trip to Goa

So, I'm supposed to have my final semester examination on the 23rd of February - screw it - & our semester holidays-cum-study week were set before our final exams, i.e. we have 2 weeks of holidays that are meant to be used to revise for our finals. My friends invited me to go to Goa for just a one-day trip to thaw our brains before frying the living shit out of it later. As always, I hesitated; these guys have at least started & covered 25% of the syllabus & I'm still at the starting line. Then, this quote (again) appeared in me head,

I keep forgetting the fact that he's a spoiled kid from a rich family while I'm just a spoiled kid with no money.

I don't know why they chose Goa but I relented & joined the trip. There were 11 of us (myself included) & out of them, 2 were our seniors. Sincerely, at first, I feel a little uncomfortable with them joining us because... well, would you behave the same way when you go to a trip with your parents or with your friends? Either way, I was eventually grateful that they tagged along. (see Calangute Beach).


From Belgaum

We planned on living at 3 a.m. in the morning of 8th February 2015, Sunday because the journey would take us about 3 hours & by the time we get there, we would be able to start our day with a beautiful sunrise. However, the car rental company said they didn't have a vehicle available at that time & we could only start our trip at 6 a.m.-ish.


I swear I went to bed at 12 a.m. the previous night so that I could wake up early at 5 & packed; but, I woke up at 6 instead - damn you, exotic dreams - & had myself a speedy shower, a speedy prayer (Lord, forgive me) & a speedy "packed my shits as fast as I shit". I was the last to get ready but who cares, because by 6:45 a.m., we were still waiting for our vehicle outside the campus. One thing about Belgaum is that locals here have an impeccable sense of timing.

I hope you're insured

At 7 o' clock (finally, b****) we departed from our campus with 2 Toyota Innovas. There are 5 people in the first car & 6 in the other, with one senior in each car. I rode the former & the cost for the car rental from Belgaum to Goa & back to Belgaum is 350 rupees for each person. The last time I left Belgaum - which was also my first time - it was at night & pitch black so I didn't get to see much of a view, I did so for this time & it wasn't much. The outskirts of the town were filled with shabby houses & shops, some small farms & a small number of unfinished/abandoned construction sites. It's like I had just entered the Twilight Zones. We entered the "highway" & the whole road from there was on the hill; from there, we could see that Belgaum is a secluded place that is surrounded by hills - no wonder it's tough to get seafood here.

I don't own a fancy camera so here's a Googled image of the hills. Suck it.
The best I could do *so close*

"The road on the hill was akin to the road towards Kelantan" said a friend of mine. I wouldn't know, but what I do know is that, the road could turn an atheist into a saint. God, I rather walk to Mordor on feet than go through that road again. With its wavy & narrow path, I wouldn't be surprised if they have at least an accident once a day. To add insult to injury, the road had only small lanes & they were not separated from each other by a centre line paint. We almost had a head-on collision with a lorry but that wouldn't be our first time. 

I would love to describe to you the beauty of the view but since I'm still traumatised by the driving experience, I think it's best if you stick with Nat Geo.

From 8 to 8:30 a.m. we stopped at a resting area on the hill, called "Delta". The temperature up there was about 15 degree celcius if I nipples weren't lying & for the first time in my life, I could see warm vapour coming out of my breath. It's too bad that such first-time experience had to take place in the middle forest that doesn't even have a f***in' hermit nearby. We had some hot tea & soon we were back on our journey. 

"It's safe. There's no lady in sight."

This is how snuff films starts out like... 

I couldn't tell whether God was telling us to be more careful or that we should turn back, but we saw 2 separate accidents - well, what's left of the cars anyway - not far from each other. This is why our drivers would honk the horn for every turn he's about to take to alert other incoming drivers. 

Piss off nature, Toyota is here *still no lady in sight*


Destination: Goa

I checked the Internet for the meaning of the name of Goa, which means "a nation of cowherds" - admittedly, it has quite a ring to it - & we reached the tollbooth into the city at 9 a.m.; we didn't reach the main road until 10 o'clock, where we see a variety of buildings, which consists mostly of small chapels. Similar to Malacca, Goa was once colonised by the Portuguese but for much a longer time & you can see the influences of the "explorers" scattered throughout the town; I'm telling you this because I don't want to take advantage of your "intelligence." For every 2 to 3 blocks you're bound to stumble into a cross-shaped stone markings.

3G: Gold, Gospel, & Glory. You're welcome, bitches

If you've been to Penang & Malacca, then you've seen Goa. The environment was uncanny except with lesser churches, lesser Indians, lesser hot tourists (if you're into old people, good for you), & lesser dirt. Then again, it felt like Hawaii too; or maybe that's because one of our friends decided to bring his ukulele along for the whole trip & wouldn't stop playing with that piece of shit for every 10 f***ing seconds.

Baga Beach

At 10:30 a.m., we reached our first destination: the Baga Beach. The seniors had actually changed their plan to make a trip to Old Goa first - because we didn't want to be burned alive like a witch on a stake - but they fell asleep in the car & didn't inform the drivers about it. FYI, I was awake the whole time along the trip trying not to piss myself in the car. Nonetheless, one of the driver said something us having already passed Old Goa & it's best for us to go there on our way back instead. So, we settled on the beach, first. The temperature in Goa was as hot as in Malaysia, so I don't have any qualm with it.

There's a Lord-knows-what's-it-called river here for the fisherman to park their boats.

We were warned by our drivers to take care of our belongings & there were plenty of people trying to sell us stuffs e.g. ice-creams, necklaces, ear rings (do I look that gay?). Some of the guys bought hats, caps & sunglasses - pfff, what amateurs. I brought 2 of them with me - & I see them haggling for the prices. Personally, I would love to buy some souvenirs to show off to some people back at home but come on: most of these stuffs are made in Chine & you're charging us a fortune for them? I felt sorry for some of them. I'm sure it's an honest business & they have a family back at home to feed but I'm a Penangite, mates. You can't teach grandpa to suck eggs 'cause grandpa's done enough sucking...

... till all his teeth fell off

All right, enough nagging. Now, the beach. One word: B-E-A-U-tiful! It's much better than the Panambur Beach back in Mangalore. The water is blue & clean, there were some great activities to be done, lots of sand & beaches *wink* if you catch my drift, & it's just the best beach I've been in my life. Heck, it's so beautiful that it could turn an impotent man into a stallion.





Hope you guys have enough tissues to wipe off all that "excitement"

We settled down under some coconut trees, sat in a circle & somehow each of us, one by one told a few personal things & our backgrounds to each other. It sounded lame at first. I mean, I just want to lie down there, stare at the sand *winks again*, & swim in the water for all day long. There wasn't a moment there that I didn't wished I had stayed there forever.

If I can't have what I want...

But, getting to know each other is a good exercise too I suppose; truthfully, my social skills could use some work. We later played a game on how each person was denoted a value of money & we needed to produce a sum by combining the value of each person. It's a straightforward & simple game but I love the lesson it taught us all: each person has his/her own self-worth & value to the world. No matter how small we think of ourselves sometimes, we tend to forget how important & essential we are to others. We need each other to complete ourselves (no homo) & we should we grateful for the people we have to call families & friends.

We're "this" close to getting to this scene.

We left the beach at 12 noon but not before playing another game of memorising everyone's favourite food & drink until the end of day. I was really sad that we had to leave the place. It was the perfect getaway spot & it's not like we're going back there again soon. I truly envy the locals.

Envy is such a delicate word.


Old Goa

At 1 p.m., we reached Old Goa, a must-visit historical area for travellers & tourists. On the way there, we passed a bridge over Mandovi River & I regretted not bringing my friend's DSLR with me because the view was impeccable. It's going to take a few months for me to get over for not taking any pictures of it & years for not spending more time on Baga Beach. I also regretted not buying any map throughout the whole trip; I thought I wouldn't need it since I'm only going to be in Goa for only a day but that's probably the best souvenir a tourist could buy, even if it's printed in China.

*so close*

We had our lunch at a restaurant called Ratna Sagar, where we ordered fried rice & tried to keep our meal light. We were saving ourselves for a luxurious dinner at night. The Muslim community in Goa was much smaller than the ones in Belgaum & Mangalore; so to find a decent halal restaurant was not an easy task. Ratna Sagar  is located right opposite the church & what's ironic was that there's a a small separate liquor store (small if you're an alcoholic) inside the restaurant itself.
"Trust us, those wines are only for display."
There were plenty of chapels, churches, historical buildings & monuments here in Old Goa but since we didn't have that much of time to spare, we had to limit our visits to only 2: the Se Cathedral & the Church of Bom Jesus.


The Basilica of Bom Jesus

"... cuz tis' place is da bom'" - a local

We finished our luncheon at 2 p.m. & headed straight away to the Church of Bom Jesus. It's an exquisite & impressively maintained architecture from the 1600s. I didn't find it to be a big deal until I found out there lied the namesake of my school, Saint Francis Xavier. I wondered to myself: am I the first person from my school batchmates to be given the honour to meet this man? Meeting him (his remains were in a tiny coffin, so, Schrödinger's cat, do your thing) made me a little proud of myself & my school. You would too if you were me.



It was Sunday & I wasn't surprised by the huge turnout. Inside the building there were countless number of carvings, statues & paintings; I'm too tired to describe them all so just enjoy the photos instead. What caught my attention the most is the church's strict rule on attire for attending the church. I found this exceptional because back in Penang, people who go to church often wore clothes as if they're going to a prom. 

Thou shan't dress up like a whore.
The church also prohibited anyone from taking any photos of anyone TOGETHER with the displays & interiors; it's okay for us to take photos of them only without anyone in the picture (intentionally). I couldn't see any pastors or nuns other than a few plain-dressed representatives - not sure if they're associated with the church - showing the visitors around & explaining details of the church. Either way, I salute the caretakers for their devoted effort at preserving the culture, honour & prestige of their heritage. 



Contrary to popular belief, you don't actually burn to ashes if you're a Muslim visiting a church.
The altar
The patron
Can you see the coffin-size box above a couple of  cupids? That's the relic of St. Francis.

"Mox Intmica Evgat" shall be the name of my new pet goldfish
There're plenty of paintings & murals too if you're into that sot of things.




Must've been a real jerk to even piss off a Jesus

Civilising in progess
Someone should make a biopic of him starring Sean Connery.
Elvis was a hack.
The coffin of St. Francis Xavier
But I MUST know...
You can see that the interior carvings & murals of the church were heavily influenced by the Indian culture & style. I'm guessing they were done by the locals who had converted into becoming Christians; there aren't many (or any) gold-plated statues in Churches in Malaysia but they are plenty of them in Buddhist & Hindhu temples. Seriously, take the figures & characters from each art, replace them with that from the Hndhu religion, myths, & folklores, & you'll get yourself a Hindhu temple.

I'm proud of myself for making through the whole tour without ripping my shirt off & shouting "allahuakbar"
Hmm, need more gargoyles...
It's beautiful *wipe tears*... now let's f*** off
Oh, in case you happened to be a radical atheist/pagan who thinks that he/she has been soiled by the teachings of Christ, there's always this big ass tree for you to enjoy/worship to...

The Se Cathedral  

At 2:40 p.m. we headed to another historical site: the Se Cathedral & it's located across the Church of Bom Jesus. We only had to cross the road to get to the former & the number of crowds here wasn't as much as the latter. It's probably because the cathedral & its museum were still under renovations at the time of our visit & it's non-worn-down appearance might have been regarded as less "historical" than Bom Jesus. What I don't understand was why didn't they just build one mega church instead of 2 smaller ones or just upgrade which one that was built first (the 2 churches we built around the same decade).


On the West, we have the archaeological museum...
On the East, we have the Se Cathedral...


& the douchebag...
The interior art & designs were very much like Bom Jesus except that they were less "indian-ish." One thing about the Christians in Goa are that they love putting those brightly-coloured flower strings around statues & crosses. You don't see non-Hindhus do that in Malaysia, which makes me wonder if Chinese Christians in China burn scent sticks in chapels.


Entrance into the church... come on people, is it too much to ask for gargoyles?
The Altar

14th century Scrabble; first prize is the black plague
I really wanted to test the echo system of the hall but we didn't want anyone to accuse us of associating with ISIS now do we?








At 3:15 p.m., we had enough of the Church & headed to the museum located on the opposite site of the church. There were about 2 types of museum I think, one for historical findings (archaeological) & another for arts but we visited the former as time was short. Right before entering the museum there was this huge hall & its walls were beautifully decorated with images & statues related Christianity. Forget Bom Jesus - this here is the main attraction if you're in Old Goa!

The Archaeological Museum


On the right you can see the door to the aforementioned big-ass hall



I wonder if there's a Holy Grail hidden here somewhere

An angel in blue watches over our shoulders... creepily

Find Waldo

These action figures cost a fortune

The entry fee into the museum was 10 rupees (not sure how this is relevant) & as always, we weren't allowed to take any photos. My advice is that if you're planning to properly tour the museum, reserve at least 1 hour of your trip just for the museum. Artefacts from the Hindhu dynasty, the era of Muslim rulings, & the age of Portuguese colonialism (from 14th to 17th century) were all displayed on the ground floor of the museum's west wing. Valuable mementos such as tiles, coins, stamps, statues, sculptures were all part of the exhibits. They even showed us how they salvaged an ancient building by transporting it from one spot to a safer one.


and they didn't even use a magic carpet
On the 1st floor of the museum, multiple paintings of Portuguese rulers from different era & decades were hung on the wall. It was not a very satisfying experience because part of the first floor was still under renovation & the sound from the construction machines was really disturbing. Nonetheless, a description noted - & I highly agree with this - that these paintings were painted by local artists who tried to imitate the techniques of those from the Renaissance era but only partially succeeding doing so.


Aesthetic & Ecstatic 
Sadly, I took my time too long because by 3:45 p.m. everyone had "toured" the whole museum & they decided to leave the place with me not getting the chance to look around the east wing of the museum. They We were all looking very tired, so I relented. We had some cold desserts outside the church before heading to Calangute Beach.

But still...


Calangute Beach

 Twas the evenight of 8th February 2015 & we arrived at the Calangute Beach somewhere about 4:35 p.m. The beach was no where near as good as the previously-mentioned Baga Beach. The beach was described by our driver as the best beach in Goa & if that's so, I would like to see his pick of the "worst" beach. There were too many people & although it's not the dirtiest beach I had ever been to, I wouldn't recommend it as a tourist attraction either.

Step right up, folks 'cause today could be your lucky day to get a f***ing cut to the feet!
It was my first time praying at the beach & that's a big deal for an occasional sinner like myself. We performed our ceremonial ablution to the loud sounds of modern techno Indian musics using the salty & hopefully piss-free seawater & I'm not sure if it's a sign/test/punishment from the Big G, but one of us lost his spectacles to the strong sea current. We tried to find his glasses but..

"F*** your glasses, mate. I'm still a virgin." 
After our prayers, we played a game & since I'm too lazy to type down all the nerdy details, let me just summarise it for you here: there were running & non-homosexual hugging. Our game was briefly interrupted when a female cow approached our area & she was angry, all right, stomping her hoofs & ever-ready to charge us. She pooped very close to our bags - here comes the holy shit pun - but one of our bold brethrens managed to shoo her away. Well, thank God for India's massive population because the bitch piss off to f*** another passerby. But then there a number of loose stray dogs too & 2 of them were malevolently barking at us for no reason at all. I'm not scared of dogs but hey, what if they have rabies?

& the great lifeguards here did nothing heroic to prevent all these except at 6:30 p.m. where they told us to leave the beach while cruising in the admittedly sweet-looking wagon.
I don't care if I sound insensitive but why don't these people ever tie these animals? Sure, they're holy & sacred but so do other animals in the freakin' animal kingdom; no one has to suffer due to your God damn ignorance. Heck, they even let them eat trash for God sake! In Malaysia, I've seen Hindhus tying their cattle, grouping them together & taking good care of them almost as if they're civilising the hell out of them. Ah well, when in Rome...

You're free my sacred cows... free to help yourselves to all the trash at the beach
At the end of the day, we rewarded ourselves with a breathtaking view of the sunset. It was beautiful but we're all too busy capturing the moment with our cameras that we forgot to enjoy the first-hand experience ourselves - ironic, isn't it?


I take that this is how the end of the days is supposed to look like?
Have a grand day now!
I'm the second one from the right, you racist bastard
As I had mentioned before, finding Halal restaurants isn't an easy task in Goa; we went to 2 restaurants, settled ourselves, but only to leave at the final moment after finding out they served alcoholic drinks & pork. At the second restaurant, I made eye contact with a hot tourist & somehow the conversation escalated to the point where one of us said the most beautiful people are the Jews. We ended up playing a guessing game called "Jewish or not?", though I mostly ended playing with myself (insert masturbation joke).

We had our dinner at a restaurant called the Capricorn at 7:45 p.m. & I had grilled steak supplemented with vanilla milkshake. The food wasn't as great as the one we had in Mangalore but hey, food is food. While waiting for our food, I went to take a walk along the night market located right beside the restaurant & gosh, it really felt like home.


Hail Satan


Alvida, Goa!

We finished our dinner at 9:15 p.m., rendezvoused with our drivers, & left Goa at 9:25 p.m.. Our driver sounded a little pissed because we had agreed earlier to meet & leave at 9:00 p.m.. See, somehow Goa has this strict regulation of not letting drivers leave through certain routes after 9:00 p.m. & our driver wanted to avoid that. But still one of us rebutted that the guy had arrived late to fetch us in the morning so it's fair that we leave a little bit late later that day.

Touché
I was told by a friend that local personal drivers tend to be a little snobbish till the end of the day, where they'll get suddenly friendly coaxing us into paying extra fees than the one that was previously agreed, i.e. they were sucking our c***s. Our conversations started fine where we asked each other questions about our years of education, places we had visited, his own social lives & so on. He even told us that he had been convoyed the whole India & if we were to do so on car, it should take us about 2 months & even that if we spend only a day at one place... Then shit took a turned & the whole thing got eerie when he started us if we drink & "love" girls; he suggested that we get some "girls" & it sounded to me that this unmarried spinster knows where to get them. 

He's the driver we need, but not the pimp we deserve.
While on the road, the driver made a few attempts at buying his "dal". I don't know what that is but it's supposed to keep him awake throughout the whole journey & shit, after he got what he wanted that's when things started to get crazy. He was driving fine until at 11:00 p.m. I was the only passenger who's still awake. He turned down the radio & fuck me sideways 'cause this cunt started driving like a lunatic - right on the roads on the hills. He was driving really fast & took sharp turns as if the accidents we encountered early today was a challenge for him. I wanted to wake the others up but I figured that if they're going to die, might as well do so in their sleep & not screaming & shitting themselves. 

"THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN KARMA???!!!"
I closed my eyes, prayed - as last-minute repenters always do - & forced myself to go to sleep as we swung right & left. My friend woke me up & would you believe it: we're back at our hostel. Our whole journey ended at 12:35 a.m. of 9th February 2015. I saw our seniors fully pay the drivers their fees - we had only paid 50% of the total fee in the moning - but I didn't notice whether they had asked for extra but since we paid for their meals, I think it's ridiculous to ask for more. Overall, even though we suffered a few minor hiccups, the whole escapade was quite the thrill & I hope I can visit Goa & its other beaches sometime in the near future.

2 down & ... oh, for f***'s sake

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